Alone time

I think spending time alone is nice. I especially like spending time alone when it rains, which it is apparently going to do for the next week here in CO. 

Not everyone agrees, but when you are constantly bombarded by bosses, friends, coworkers, children, spouses, and even people at the grocery store, the last thing you want to do is be around other people. 

Spending time by yourself is a blessing.  Even 5 minutes without others can be beneficial for our health and self-care. Be selfish with your time with yourself.  If possible, block out time on your shared calendar at work, or at home, where other people can see it. You don’t have to label it anything, just show yourself as unavailable. 

I like to eat lunch by myself or take a hot bath with salts at night.  My spouse knows that if the door shuts and a bath is running: I need some alone time.  Most times I either journal or read a book for pleasure.  Use your personal time for things that bring you pleasure.  Drink that extra cup of coffee, read that smutty novel, do half an hour of yoga- and don’t you dare be sorry for it!  The kids will still be hungry, your spouse will still tell you about their day, and your boss will still have comments for you about that project, but those things can wait until your alone time is over. 

Research has shown that:

People who went out with others had just as much fun as people who took themselves out on a date.

So go take yourself on a date!  You’ll have fun.   You’ll get to have and do whatever you want without having to please anyone but yourself.  And that is a NICE thing. 

We’ll talk more about ways to date yourself tomorrow :)

Death and Self-Care

‪#‎MondayMantra‬ -Don't try to understand everything. Sometimes it is not meant to be understood, just accepted. 

One of the hardest things to understand in our life is death, especially the death of someone young and someone you knew, even in passing. There are so many emotions of sadness, anger, and fear that come during this time. Why did he die? He was so young! If it happened to him, it could happen to me too. 

I found out last night that one of my high school classmates passed away.  When you go to a school that graduates 763 kids at a time, it's hard to get to know everyone.  We weren't really friends.  I helped him with his math homework and taught him during our school musical that being a basketball player didn't have to be his only role- singing was fine too. We weren't close and I can't say with all honesty that I liked him, but what I did like about him was that he was always smiling. It was a contagious smile that infused everyone around him with happiness.  That is what the world lost.  It's doesn't matter how he died, just that he was too young, and that his smile is no longer with us.

Honor the life of the the person we lost through coming together with friends and family and reminding them, and yourself that there is love in the world. Have your sadness, your anger at the situation, and when those emotions fade, smile and hug your family and friends, just like that person would have done. We won't necessarily understand the cause and we may never know it. So do what Pashi would have done and smile and love your friends.

When death happens we are so consumed with the emotions and proper arrangements that we forget about self-care all together.  We cry, we reminisce about the person who passed, and we try to understand why it happened.  Sometimes there is no understanding it.  Death is a place we can't go to and talk to the person and ask why.  During this time, we have to take even better care of ourselves.  

What does that mean?

1. Mourn- you need to. 
2. Continue your day to day self care as much as possible. Make that cup of coffee with cream and syrup. Take that long shower you were planning on. 
3. Do something that brings up your spirits and reminds you of good in the world. Do this often in the coming days. It won't make the loss hurt less, but it will empower you and keep your light shining.  

How did I take care of myself this morning in light of this?

1. I had my cry. 

2. I got up and got dressed.

3. I made myself a hot cup of my favorite tea.

4. I drove to my favorite park, Garden of the Gods.

5. I had a morning yoga practice surrounded by the tranquility of the park in view of a huge mountain. 

6. I got myself a donut on the way home.