5 things to do in September

Before I take you to todays topic, take a minute and remember what today is and what it stands for.  We are a nation still at war.  We could be in a multi-front war at any time.  Yet here we are standing tall and standing up for those who cannot yet stand up for themselves. Thank you to all of our servicemen and servicewomen who have fought for the freedom of the world in the fight against terror. 

Also today is DAY 2 of the Invictus Games taking place in London, England.  I hope you will follow our team of amazing service people as they compete against 12 other nations.   For more information about the games please visit invictusgames.org

So, onto today's topic which is a much lighter note.  10 things you should do this month.

1.  Make sure you have the appropriate clothing for the season.  In mos parts of the country you are experiencing warm days and cool nights.  Make sure your wardrobe reflects that.

2. Get some apple cider.  There are all kinds of delicious drinks and recipes that incorporate apple cider. Here are some ideas to get you started. 

http://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=apple%20cider

3.Make Chili.  There are a million chili recipes.  Try a few.  Find your favorite and make a huge batch.  Freeze a bunch of it for later in the fall. 

4. It's football season!!!!! Go watch a game!!!! 

5. Do a fitness challenge!  It's fun, it changes daily, and it will get you active.  Here are some ideas to get you started. http://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=fitness%20challenge

 

 

Help 101: asking for what you need to get what you want

I hate asking for help.  Some part of me believes I am all powerful. But the reality is that I'm not all powerful or superhuman. I can't do it all and often I need help.  It is the thing that takes the most strength.  It is the most powerful thing that I can do to help myself.  

Let me say...I HATE asking for help.  I hate asking for support. I guess in my family that was given unconditionally.  It's weird for me to ask for it. But I've had to since most people do not give help or support like my family does.  It was a transition that I had to make especially once David and I moved to Colorado.  The only people we are social with are our neighbors- half of whom are over the age of 60.  We have no friends because I work such crazy hours and I don't have time to go out and make friends. The time we have together we want to spend just with each other.   

Working such crazy hours I needed support from both my boss and my boyfriend.  Working crazy hours puts a lot of strain on any relationship.  It's hard to keep a relationship going when you see each other for only a few hours a day a few times a week. David has stepped up and become the man I need him to be.  He is supportive and listens to me talk about work no matter how positive or negative that talk is.  

 

 I finally told my boss that I need support from her and she has stepped up as well. I finally have the support that I need at home and at work and it wasn't easy to ask or sometimes to receive that support.  I am very independent and letting someone else handle the details is hard for me.  I had to let the reins go a little bit at work but it is helping tremendously to have less on my plate.  Now I can focus more on the things that matter instead of having to sweat the details. 

 

How to ask for help?

1. Put together a list of things you need help with- support/dishes/more time to yourself?
2. Who can help you with each task?
3. Talk to the people who can help you.
4. Ask them for help.  Most people love to help others; they are simply never asked. Let them know how much their assistance means to you.

Imagine what would happen if you asked for the help you need/want.  How much better would your life be?

Mentorship: 5 things to make your relationship permanent and the INVICTUS GAMES

First find out what you are interested in or need help with?  I entered the sport psychology world knowing nothing about sport psychology.  My first experience with it was when my parents provided me with a plane ticket, hotel room, and conference tickets for the Association of Applied Sport Psychology.  I was very lucky in the fact that as a undergraduate junior I was able to attend a national conference with no fear of meeting new people.  I've always been interested in how people got to where they were and I enjoy talking to people. One of my favorite mentors I met at that conference, standing in line to talk to a keynote speaker.  That was over 4 years ago.   We still talk almost weekly.  

So first find out what you need mentorship for.  Then find someone who knows what they are talking about in that vein. Next see if you can meet with that person to discuss what they do and how they got there.  They might not be the right mentor for you.  See if you have common ground or you think that they can help show you the way you want things to get done.  You could be polar opposites and still make a great connection.  Don't count someone out, they may just be too busy at the time. Taking on a mentee is a lot of commitment and they want to be able to have the time to commit to you.

Mentorship is a two way street.  You have to be willing to commit to the relationship too. 

1.   That means answering calls and messages that they send you promptly and listening to their advice and guidance.  But you have to remember that they are busy as well and they took the time to connect with you.  Do them the courtesy of responding. 

2. If they recommend a book/movie/author/article for you to read/watch...do it.  They don't ask you to do things for shits and giggles.  They want to help you.

3. Spend time learning about the field.  If someone just did a study about cocaine use in rats and you found it really interesting, talk to your mentor about it.  They may know the person responsible for the study or someone doing something like it, that you could connect with. 

4. Let them introduce you to other people in the field.  The world is about who you know. It opens a lot of doors for you, just by knowing the right people. 

5. Be the best mentee possible and make sure that your expectations for the relationship are clear to your mentor.  Don't be disappointed because you didn't speak up. 

Take your mentorship relationship seriously.  Be as committed to the relationship as your mentor is and take their advice to heart.  

I am thankful every day that I met Mark Campbell at AASP in 2010.  He is one of the most giving human beings on the planet  and is truly committed to his work with our wounded, ill, and disabled veterans.  I am so proud of his work and committment to the service people of our nation.  The Invictus Games start tomorrow, of which he is a part.  Please take the time to follow the Invictus Games and support our servicemen and servicewomen competing in the games. For more information about the Invictus Games please visit

invictusgames.org

Get out of your head!

My strongest enemy is myself.  It is the voices in my head that tell me I'm not doing enough, I'm not going to get that promotion, I'm not strong enough for this, I'm not where I was supposed to be now.  Then I learned how to shut up all of those voices. 

How did I do it?

1. I stopped telling myself I wasn't good enough.  Instead I told myself that I am the best(teacher, trainer, girlfriend, etc).  This is called affirmations.  I say positive things to myself instead of negative.  The reality is that negative thoughts rarely help us mentally.
2. I asked for more support at work and at home.  I am not superhuman.  I cannot do it all. By asking for more support at work and at home, I took a lot of stress off of myself.
3. I wrote down positive things about myself and I keep them on my phone and look at them every morning,or whenever I need a boost. 
4. I re-evaluated my expectations of myself.  We all want to be the best at everything we do.  There is something to be said for that.  Yet,these expectations have to be realistic. The best thing you can do for yourself is set realistic expectations for what you can do. 

This didn't happen overnight. It took a while to figure out.And it took time to find the best way to go about doing these things.  Give yourself time to adjust to your new way of thinking.

 

 Activity: Take a blank sheet of paper and fold it in half. On one side of the paper, write down your negative thoughts. On the other side of the paper write the opposite of the negative thoughts.  Rip the paper in half so that the negatives are on one side and the positives on the other.  Take the negative side and destroy it.  Rip it into shreds, put it through a shredder, burn it, however you want to do it. Take the positive side and post it somewhere you will see it multiple times a day.  I find that the best places are on bathroom mirror or on the refrigerator. 

Have a great Monday!

7 ways to show your spouse you care

7 ways to show your spouse you care

 

1. Take interest in the things they are interested in and actually talk to them about it.  My boyfriend LOVES football and hockey.  Let me rephrase that, my boyfriend is OBSESSED with football and hockey.  So in order to have connection with him, I read a few articles on NHL and NFL.com daily so that I can discuss the current issues with him.

 

2. Be physical.  Actually touch him/her.  Whether its a kiss on the cheek when they are cooking in the kitchen or a booty grab in the shower, give your partner physical attention.

3. Verbally praise your partner. Praise them at home and with others.  If they did the dishes without you saying anything. Tell them thank you and how much it means to you. It really is the little things that matter most. 

 

4. Spend time together.  Time is more valuable than money.  Especially when you are just starting a life together, your time is your most valuable commodity.  By spend time together,I mean do things together, not sit in the same room and text other people or play on your computers.  Do something together.  Anything can be fun if done in the right mindset and with the right person.  David and I do laundry together and honestly we make it fun. Sometimes the folding takes a little longer than it should, but we have fun doing it. 

 

5. Put down your cell phone/work email.  Put all of your technology away. Focus your attention on your partner.  Ask about their day. Ask how their projects are going at work. See how they are feeling.  For goodness sakes act like you care.  If you give it, they will give it back.  

 

6.  Get them an unexpected gift.  David brought me home a candy bar the other day and I almost cried.  It was so sweet and unexpected. I had a rough day and a silly little candy bar and a kiss made it a little better. 

 

7. Plan a home date.  As great as going out dates are...I'm a big fan of home dates.   It helps that both David and I are very good cooks.  We don't see the point of spending money on drinks,food, and entertainment that we can provide for ourselves at home.  A typical home date for us includes dinner and wine, a movie or tv show marathon where we plug in our surround sound, popcorn, and dessert.   It also involves snuggles with our bulldog.  He gets really cranky when he is left out of the attention.

 

Here are some other suggestions from Le Love.

 

Going into the weekend is the perfect time to put a little bit extra into your relationship as hopefully you have more time together.

 

B

3 books and 2 book series to Read/Re-read Now

Reading has always been important to me and it has been a priority for me, for most of my life. Reading is part of my family culture. One of my first real memories is my dad reading to my brother and I before bed each night. Everyone in my family reads.  Books are how we grow, learn, expand our horizons, and visit places and worlds we would never visit otherwise. When we stop growing and stop learning, we stop living. Find a library, a book store, a computer/tablet/smartphone.  Get your nose in a book.

Here are 3 books and 2 book series to Read/Re-read Now

1. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.  No matter how many times I read this book, I discover something new about myself.   I read it as a junior in high school, as a senior getting a Bachelors degree, and again after getting my Master's degree.  Each time, I learn something new about myself and about the journeys that we all travel.
2. The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling. There are so many good quotes, life lessons, and battles we all fight in this series. I could go on about the Harry Potter series all day, but I'll respect your time. Read them for yourself- especially if you are a skeptic.  The only way to find out if you really object to something, is to see what it is all about by talking to others or experiencing it.
3. In Pursuit of Excellence by Terry Orlick.  If you want a book to motivate you and teach you, this one is great! It applies to everyone can be applied to every discipline.  I use it in my office all the time
4. Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult. No book has impacted me in such a way, as this one did.  Love is an extremely powerful motivator and without it our world falls apart.  The twists and turns in this book will keep you on your toes the whole time.
5. The Boxcar Children Series by Gertrude Chandler Warner. Every child wants to be a detective and have adventures. This series not only reminds us that sleuthing never ends, but that you can make something from nothing, if you only have the courage to look in the right places.

Go find a shady tree, a blanket, a book and spend some time re-reading some of your favorite books.  It's amazing what you will get out of them the second or third time around.

Day In Day Out introduction

Day In and Day Out we have responsibilities, time commitments, relationships, jobs/careers, and other things that take our attention and our time. This blog aims to give you some tips to make this whole life a little easier.  None of these ideas are mind-blowing or new, but they are for you and for me.  We all need reminders sometimes.   Let me be your reminder.

 This blog will give you little glimpses into my life, my relationships, and my career- and how I manage all of it. My name is Bethany. I'm 24 years old. I work 60+ hours a week at American Income Life where I'm a recruiter and trainer. I enjoy the work and the pay. I have a boyfriend named David and a 9 year old English Bulldog named Karl. 

Welcome to my life.